Do They Know It's Christmas Time At All

Christmas cheesiness makes me feel strange. I don't know what it is about it, but I walk into the whole Christmas themed Gala, complete with decorated table settings and music and organized games, and I feel nauseated. Maybe I feel like a fraud? I don't know. I have children, and I love them and spoil the snot out of them for Christmas, but all of the pomp and circumstance makes me uneasy on the adult side. It's like I almost feel in my heart that Christmas should be treated like Halloween and at some point you just decide to leave the dressing up for the kids. All about the kids. I don't want to sing a christmas carol in public with people I don't know. I don't want to be required to participate in a table-read of the 12 Days of Christmas with 75 other people.

I feel like this makes me seem like a scrooge or a party pooper, or some kind of hipster "I'm too cool." but it's not that at all (or maybe it is). If Christmas really does mean something, shouldn't it be spending time with people you love the company of and having a great time? I had my best friend who lives in Pennsylvania over today and I was elated to sit around and chat and drink whisky and eat cookies with her for the afternoon. That is Christmas to me.
I think it's the "traditions" that make me uneasy, and the insistence of people above the age of 15 making a big deal out of it. My 4 year old 100% decorated or Christmas tree and house, and she HAD THE BEST TIME DOING IT. and she's so damn proud of herself. I can't imagine saying, "oh no, we must have all Restoration Hardware crystal ornaments and a perfect blue spruce." I think that is so strange. Why do people care?

The street we live on is very unique. It's a tight knit group. People live here by the GENERATION. Houses are HANDED DOWN. Sometimes I don't know how to react to this. Tonight everyone got together and dotted the lane with these Luminaires. After that, we all gathered and had a massive Christmas party. As much as I try to resist, after the party I walked down the road and thought, "I've never seen anything more beautiful."